Thursday, January 6, 2011

The Human Condition

While reading an article in the online edition of my local paper, I noticed an ad on the side of the page. I usually don't see ads, thanks to AdBlock and years of training, but I think it was the double pair of staring eyes that did it:

Who is this ad meant for, I wondered? Is there some insomniac woman out there, up to her wrinkled eyes in mortgage debt, so hobbled by her bad joints that she can't fight the insurance companies that are screwing her?

After a moment of thought I concluded, probably, yes.

That's the human condition in a nutshell, with the exception of the woman who's on the Spice (the dermatologists are scared because fear is the mind killer.) The only thing missing is the ONE SIMPLE SECRET a LOCAL MOM used to make her teeth TEN THOUSAND TIMES whiter, so white they travel in time and have adventures.

like this

Thank you, Adblade; you're doing God's work. May your monumental quest to end all human suffering be accomplished quickly! I for one welcome the Advertising Eschaton.


  1. Don't make fun of that teeth whitner! I've heard from people it really works!

  2. it's borox; no please don't use borox, it will kill you; damn can't even joke about it without having to add a disclaimer

  3. Where are the posts! I demand to be entertained! Dance for me!!!

  4. just remember the scene in malcom in the middle with Dewey dancing and entertaining the babysitter

  5. Consider my new post to be the frantic, all-dancing, always party-time atmosphere I create JUST FOR YOU.

    I will dance until it hurts.