The soccer ball hit my crotch, going at - a conservative estimate - a thousand miles an hour. I knew that was going to happen from the moment he kicked it, but I couldn't move fast enough to get out of the way. If I was a better athlete, I'd be a better athlete. What kind of a stupid system is this, anyway?
As I collapsed to my knees, I wondered if any of the guys in the Old Testament had this problem. In between seeing fiery rings made out of eyes, did Ezekiel ever predict that some donkey was going to kick him in the crotch? If he averted the ball kicking, would it make him a false prophet?
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