Thursday, September 1, 2011

Silence Will Fall

I'm planning a trip this Labor Day weekend. Despite a previous bad experience - a nonexistent gas station in the middle of a mysteriously congested nowhere town during a thunderstorm - I'm using Gas Buddy to save money on my fill ups. 

However, I decided to check everything out beforehand. It's better to get it all squared away while I'm situated comfortably in my office chair rather than the roadside, right?

What could go wrong?

Gas Buddy says the cheapest gas on my route can be found at a Wilco Hess located at 1318 E Lee Highway in Wytheville, VA.

Problem 1.) Google Maps Street View reveals a "CJ's Pizza" near that location. That is all. Wait, there is also a hillock with sparse grass. I could not locate any pumps on or near the hillock.

Problem 2.) Gas Buddy's description of the place says that it's off exit 77 from Highway 77/81. There is no E. Lee Highway off exit 77. E Lee Highway is off of exit 67, though. Hmm.

Problem 3.) I called the gas station. The attendant verified that yes, they're on E. Lee Highway and they're also off exit 77. I asked her to clarify, exit 77 or highway 77. It's an easy mistake to make in a casual conversation. She said EXIT 77.

This state of affairs has likely been caused by a rip in time and space; two locations that are actually ten miles apart are now next to one another, overlapping one another. A bit like a wormhole, only not in space.

I remembered my phone call at this point, and asked God to have mercy on the soul of the woman I spoke with. I spent a summer working for a gas station, and regardless of disruptive temporal phenomena, it's a shit job.

I think I might go to another gas station. You know, one where the fabric of reality hasn't been folded like origami.

1 comment:

  1. "Hello? Yes, may I have your coordinates?

    69.094060, 48.921204?

    Oh, okay. Fuck you."